"i don’t want to start thinking again. not like i have this last week. i can’t think again. not ever again. i don’t know if you’ve ever felt like that. that you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. or just not exist. or just not be aware that you do exist. or something like that. i think wanting that is very morbid, but i want it when i get like this. that’s why i’m trying not to think. i just want it all to stop spinning."